How it came together
It started at Zavier’s first birthday. My daughter Carlie mentioned the Europe trip she and her husband Miguel were loosely putting together, and I was very interested. Their plan was Florence, then Munich for a friend’s wedding, Barcelona, Majorca, Luxembourg to visit a childhood friend who’s expecting, and finally London, to see a friend and because Miguel had never been.
In June, Alaska Airlines ran one of its monthly members-day deals, and I got a round trip to Paris for 40,000 points and about $140. I found out when they’d be in Europe, added a couple of days on either end, booked the flight, and decided I’d figure out the rest later. So Paris was less a destination than a doorway: the budget-friendly way to get to Europe, and a great hub to fly in and out of.
Scott and Jennifer, Zavier’s other grandparents, came along to watch him during the wedding, which was adults only. They’d never been out of the country, so they added Italy and Spain to see some of Europe. Julie, a friend from home who was going to the wedding, joined the group for Barcelona and Majorca.
I booked my flights within Europe with oneworld airlines so I’d earn status points and miles. That backfired a little: several of the flights I booked through Iberia were operated by Vueling, which isn’t a oneworld partner, so they didn’t earn status points.
Looking back
Really, I set out to add more countries to the list of places I’ve been, and I did: three more brought my count to 25. But the trip gave me more than that. It gave me new perspectives, and some affirmation.
The affirmation was that I’m smart and capable, and that I can do anything I put my mind to. Planning the trip, following the agenda, making up my own side quests on a whim, and doing it on my own all take some good qualities, and I’m proud of how I managed the whole thing. Could I have done some things better? Sure. But did it meet or exceed my expectations? Absolutely. And I can be proud of myself for that.
Traveling solo also gave me a lot of time in my own head. That time can easily turn negative if you let it, and I’m proud of how I handled the hiccups and challenges along the way. There are a lot of reasons a trip like this can get emotional. It’s not that I didn’t feel things, but I never let them get me down. I rallied when I had to, gave myself grace when I needed it, and sat contentedly with myself and really enjoyed the experience.
When I’m left to my own thoughts, I often end up thinking about sociology, and this trip was no different. I’d like to think the people around me enjoyed my company. I don’t feel the need to know, just the curiosity. I’m often curious how others perceive me, and part of me wishes I could hand out a questionnaire. In a world of five-star ratings, likes and comments, that feels a bit silly, but from a data perspective I’d love to learn more about myself that way.
I really liked the mix of being on my own and crossing paths with people I know. Solo travel can be isolating, so regrouping with family was a great way to recharge. And I like being part of a group too, because a shared experience is its own reward.
And I crammed a lot into four weeks, on purpose. An outline with a few options for each day is what made that work: fewer decisions in the moment, and the freedom to change course whenever I wasn’t feeling it.
Threads that kept coming back
- Just being there. It started on day one in Paris: stop chasing the memorable, and the memories take care of themselves.
- Making things, imperfectly. The Orsay stirred up an old itch to make art, and a Banksy museum in Lisbon stirred it again.
- Rolling with it. A wrong stop in Rome, a guide who never showed in Majorca, the wrong bus in Sintra. None of them ruined a day.
- Family, by choice. A long farm table outside Florence, with people I’d met that morning.
- Chapters. A moped ride that ended at a boat, and goodbyes made easy by the next hello.